[milliways] Lost for you, I'm so lost for you

[dejah_thoris]

[ cont'd from here ]

'More private' to her right now simply means away from people.  She takes his hand and leads him into the shadows, moving down the beach away from the music and the flickering light of the bonfire.  The white sand beach is flat here, gently sloping down to the waterline.  The quiet envelopes them, the susurration of the waves the only sound save for the occasional distant laughter.

Her blood still sings with the heat of his kiss, her breath ragged and shallow even as she attempts to calm herself.  She can feel him, deeper now than ever before.  If she is like fire to him, then he is red hot metal, radiating strength and something more.  Something raw.  Powerful.  She's almost afraid to look too closely, terrified she'll see what she wants to see and not the truth.

But this doesn't feel like simple lust to her.  They've skirted around that for months now.  But this is different.  This feels real.

"Curtis..."  So many words crowd up behind her teeth, catching in the back of her throat.  She glances at him, watching the distant firelight catch in his eyelashes.  When she speaks, all that comes out is,

"I love you."

Comments

[2goodarms]

"Okay." It sounds a bit more absent than before. Curtis keeps examining the scar, running his fingertips over it like he's never seen it before.

He hasn't, really. Not like this. It's been there so long -- and often hidden beneath so many layers of clothes -- that he tends to forget it's even there. And he's not so far gone that he doesn't catch that breath of Dejah's feelings: that little needle-prick of annoyance, or worry, or something that stands out amidst all the good stuff floating through the room.

A little quieter: "Sorry I can't remember."

[dejah_thoris]

"It's all right," she says, and he can feel the wash of assurance with her words. It really is okay. She opens the wardrobe and is pleasantly surprised to find a raw silk kimono that is clearly more masculine than her tastes. She murmurs a quiet thanks and pulls it out for him. After a moment's thought, she pulls out her own cobalt blue robe and drapes it over her arm.

She comes back, unfolding his robe as she goes. "Here we are. This is for you." She helps him slip it on and tie it shut.

And then she drapes her robe over his arm and steps back, giving him a crooked grin. She reaches up with one hand and undoes the clasp at her shoulder.

"Fair's fair."

[2goodarms]

Well then. Curtis does his best not too look too eager, but his own smile betrays him; he steps closer, assisting Dejah as she sheds her dress.

He's caught glimpses of her clan markings -- never all at once, but, through a bared shoulder there or a short skirt there, enough to map out a rough sketch in his head. The vine-like swirls across her shoulders sweep down into a more geometric pattern along her spine, following the tracks down to split at her legs. Mesmerized, he brushes his fingers over them as the dress falls lower.

His hand stops at a thick ridge of scar tissue. Curtis's smile fades; gently, he traces its path around her hip and shoots Dejah a questioning glance.

[dejah_thoris]

The dress falls away like mist. It pools at her feet and she steps out of it, into his embrace. His hand lights on her scar and she chuffs a quiet laugh.

"An old war wound," she says, twisting her leg so he can see the whole of it. "Zodangan raiders, caught us by surprise. We got out by the skin of our teeth, but don't worry. I took his head in payment."

[2goodarms]

"Good." A quiet ferocity bites at his words. He keeps smoothing his palm over the scar, as if trying to brush it away. "Did you use that, um, that Thark stuff on on it?"

It doesn't look like she did. Which means if she did...Christ, she's lucky she's still got the leg at all.

[dejah_thoris]

"I did," she says, a touch sheepish, glancing back down at it, twisting her leg a bit from side to side.

"I know it's ugly, but -- I've grown used to it, if that makes any sense. Sometimes it aches, when the weather shifts. I've noticed it throbs a little when it rains here? And I still use the salve on it from time to time."

[2goodarms]

"It's not ugly," he's quick to say. "I'm just...glad it wasn't worse."

A crooked smile.

"Wouldn't want us to be missing limb buddies."

[dejah_thoris]

She smirked at him and rocked her weight into his at the hip.

"Thanks, I think?" she says, laughing under her breath. "Robe, please? Unless you want me traipsing about like this."

[2goodarms]

" -- Right, yeah," he says, and quickly shakes out the robe to drape around her. Deadpan, "That'd just be a tragedy."

[dejah_thoris]

"If it wasn't winter, I wouldn't mind really." She shrugs on the robe and ties it shut. "But I promised to behave," she says, her hands smoothing down the front of his robe to rest at his waist.

"Such an arduous request, but I will do my best."

[2goodarms]

"Mm."

He smiles, drops another light kiss on her nose.

"So what you're saying is we gotta do this again in the summer." Beat. "And a lot of other times in between."

[dejah_thoris]

"If you like," she says, stealing that kiss back from his lips.

She giggles under her breath and gently urges him back to the couch. She plucks the champagne bottle out of the basket and refills their glasses. That done, she settles beside him again.

"But I also don't want to make you uncomfortable. I know you don't care for having less than three layers on. Which is a pity really. You're not the only one who enjoys the view."

[2goodarms]

"I don't mind having less on," he points out. "Depends where I am."

Mmm, champagne. He takes a long swig, nestling his head on her shoulder.

The faintly drunken earnestness creeps back into his voice as he goes on, "Like up here with you. It gets hot in here anyway, it's probably better I'm not wearing everything, you know? It's not uncomfortable then."

[dejah_thoris]

"Good," she murmurs, curling an arm around him, resting her cheek against his head. She sighs, radiating contentment.

"I must confess, there was a time when I never thought we'd get here. I'm so glad I was wrong."

[2goodarms]

"Me too," he whispers. His eyes drift closed; the swimmy feeling intensifies, but it doesn't bother Curtis in the least. "I know it's been kinda rough for you too. I'm glad we're working everything out."

The champagne glass feels pleasantly cool against his fingertips. If he focuses, he can hear the faint hiss of the rising bubbles.

"'Cause I want to stick around. I like you. I love you. I wanna stay."

[dejah_thoris]

Kinda rough. She stifles a guffaw at that.

"I love you, too," she says, and he can hear the affectionate amusement running under words. Her hand slips under his robe to rest on his bare chest.

"I also like you and would be honored if you stayed. I know it's been difficult, for both of us. I also know -- we're only just getting started. I don't expect it to be simple or easy. I just know -- I want this." She gives him a little squeeze.

"I deserve to be happy," she whispers, and perhaps he can hear her still trying to convince herself of it. "You make me happy. The rest, we can figure out eventually."

[2goodarms]

"You do." Curtis tips his head to kiss the underside of her jaw. "Always. You deserve it."

He swallows more of his drink, nearly emptying his glass.

"I can only think of a couple people who don't deserve to be happy and you? Are definitely not one of them. Okay?"

[dejah_thoris]

"All right, my love." She chuckles, purring at the kiss. His beard tickles in the most delightful way. He finishes his champagne and she takes another long sip of hers.

"Whoo, this is -- I believe the tip of my nose is going numb!"

[2goodarms]

Curtis cracks up, lifting his head from her shoulder with the force of his laughter. He points a meandering finger at her and crows, "You're drunk."

He wins! He held his liquor longer!

Because he's totally not drunk at all, too. Nope. He's just...extremely relaxed. Because he's around his amazing, beautiful, fierce girlfriend whom he loves very very much. Yes.

[dejah_thoris]

She scoffs, beaming at him nonetheless. "I am a Jeddak. We do not get drunk. We get -- relaxed." She gestures with her hands to indicate something falling away. She's filled with light and warmth, and he's here with her in a robe, smelling divine and looking amazing in his joy.

She idly captures that meandering finger and brings it to her mouth so she can catch the very tip between her teeth with a playful growl.

[2goodarms]

Curtis yelps. His laughter redoubling, he tries to reclaim his hand as he continues, "No, no no no, you get back in the Tail with the rest of us, if shit's going numb in this sauna you're so drunk -- "

Somehow, in the process of this miniature speech, he finds himself sliding down Dejah's side and along the couch. His head ends up on her thigh; rather than trying to push himself back up, Curtis goes about making himself comfortable, wriggling his legs so they go around the basket's side, grinning up at Dejah once he's situated.

[dejah_thoris]

Their laughter fills the room and she's still giggling as she shifts to give him room. The couch is easily big enough for him and the basket. She waits until he's settled and then she laces her fingers through his again. Her free hand curls around his head to stroke his beard.

"All right, all right. First," she reminds him, her tone quiet and still rich. "You're not on the Train anymore. And yes, I might be a little beyond tipsy. Okay, more than a little. But you," she taps the tip of his nose with a fingertip, "are well and truly drunk."

[2goodarms]

Curtis opens his mouth to protest.

Closes it.

Opens it again to say, a little sheepishly, "Yyyyeah, okay, maybe."

And it is great. Much, much better than kronole. Better than the Voice of Barsoom, too; the room's gently sloshing around the same way it did with the Voice, but he's not overwhelmed by it. He's just warm and content and happy.

[dejah_thoris]

She draws her teeth over her lower lip, grinning down at him. Her hand returns to his cheek, and she just gazes into his eyes.

"My beloved," she says. "Thank you."

[2goodarms]

He's still smiling, but his eyebrows tug together. "For what?"